Self Portraits by April Vargas

Self-Portraits by April Vargas

About Me

Hi! I’m April, a Creative Artist and Photographer. I’m currently based out of Savannah, GA but originally form Miami, Florida. I’m a Momma to 3 wild boys and 1 fur baby. We’ve been a military family for about 11 years, living in various parts of the world. Traveling is big part of the gig and we’re always up for a new adventure! Our lives are equal parts of chaos and fun and, to be honest, we wouldn’t change it for anything.

My photography journey started before having children about 12 years ago, but it’s flourished in these recent years. I enjoy creating art from our daily lives and my kids get a kick out of creating with me. I’ve always been an artist, even attending Fine Art School for painting and drawing, but soon discovered my passion lies with photography. I’m drawn to images that depict emotions, authenticity, color and deep rich tones. I try to find meaning in every piece I create; I find that it helps tether my soul to an image. I’m so excited to share my process of creating with you and open up about why I’m so passionate about Self-Portraiture!

35mm f4.5 1/500 ISO 800

What is Self-Portraiture

A self-portrait is a representation of an artist that is drawn, painted, photographed or sculpted by that artist. Self-Portraiture has been around for centuries, but it wasn’t until the Early Renaissance in the mid-15th century that artists can be clearly depicting themselves as either the main subject or as lead characters in their work. Some of my all-time favorite painters who’ve created self-portraits are Frida Kahlo, Salvador Dali and Rene Magritte. A common trait between them was their thought-provoking images. For me as an artist this is the most fundamental part--using art to provoke a feeling is the most rewarding aspect.

It’s important to point out the reasons behind my use of painters to showcase self-portraiture. Contrary to common believe, self-portraits are not vain; they are expression of feeling and just another medium artists use to tell a story. Many artists use themselves as subjects and have been doing it for hundreds of years. You might be thinking, “I’m just a photographer, I’m not an artist!’’ I’m here to tell you that no matter what genre you choose, YOU ARE AN ARTIST! We all listen to that little artistic muse in our heads to capture an image. You listen to it when your eye catches that beautiful light coming through the window or when your drawn to capture that interesting character on the street and even a breathtaking sunset. We all are our own muses so why shouldn’t get in the frame, no matter how we choose to capture it.

35mm f/4.0 1/250 ISO 1000

35mm f/3.5 1/60 ISO 500

Why are Self-Portraits so important?

This is very common question a lot of people ask; and although this answer is different for everyone, my answer would be BECAUSE YOU MATTER! We should see and love ourselves; we are important. As photographers we are behind the viewfinder documenting and capturing memories, but how many images of you will your family have? How will they remember you, what legacy are you leaving behind for your future generations? One of my favorite things to do when I visit my family is go through our family albums. I love seeing are rich history and our family story of how we came to be. Can you imagine not being in any of the images? I can’t!

On a personal level speaking from experience, self-portraiture has taught me a valuable lesson in self-acceptance. We all have parts of our bodies that we deem imperfect or undesirable. I’m here to tell you THAT YOU’RE GORGEOUS!!! We all have our ‘’so called’’ imperfections and truth be told none of them take away from your beautiful soul. We have to love ourselves right now, not for our future weights or future skin; RIGHT NOW! I have this saying that I repeat to myself when I’m feeling self-conscious in life or an image, which is: “Step out of the line, be loud, be bold, be vibrant!” You deserve to be seen.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”

- Budda

35mm f/6.3 1/1600 ISO 100

50mm f/2.8 1/500 ISO 500

Getting in the frame

There are many ways to capture yourself in an image. Documenting everyday life with your children, partners or animals are all great examples and are perfect for creating many ranges of emotions. They don’t have to be deep; you can have fun in them too. Self-Portraits don’t need to show your face, sometimes by isolating just your shadow, silhouette, feet, or hair can lead the viewers to create their own stories. Choosing to use different objects in your self-portraits, (for example: mirrors, flowers, chairs and light) can help tell the story your trying to convey or you even come up with concepts (which is a fun way to step out of your comfort zone). You can use an array of different surroundings to evoke feelings of emptiness, happiness, love etc... The bottom line is self-portraiture is subjective and the possibilities are limitless!

35mm f/2.8 1/100 ISO 2000

35mm f/3.5 1/500 ISO 250

Have a Self-Love Session

Okay so I know it’s easier to said than done, but I’ve come to believe that you have to love yourself on a daily basis. When you look in that mirror, what do you see? Do you only see your flaws or the “I wishes”? I know I did. I saw my age, my weight, aging skin, and grey hair. What I didn’t see is my strength and power, my gentleness or forgiveness, the love I had for my children or my husband. I couldn’t look in the mirror and see my pain or happiness. To be frank, I couldn’t even look at myself longer than a couple of seconds. I was hiding away because, let’s face it, as a mom it’s easy to get lost with no one to find you. You become lowest on the totem pole in your home, putting your needs as a person and a woman last, because the love of your family comes first, right?

When I first started with self-portraits, I had no idea I was feeling lost or that I was filled to the rim with self-deprivation. I did know that I was fading and the love I had for myself was non-existent. So, I decided to fight for me, I made a decision to have a love affair with myself, to take time to discover who I was in my 30s. I made a commitment to get into the frame once a month. At first it was hard to look at the image and see beauty, but with every image I took I could see my soul shine. I started to notice the subtle change to look past the superficial and see deeper parts of me. I was seeing a strong, powerful and unique women who was finding her voice. I still remember that first image I took with no makeup, I didn’t even think twice about making sure my face was perfect. I wanted to capture how I was feeling. This is where things clicked for me, I was using my self-portraits as therapy. I had found that I was spending time reflecting on how I felt rather on how I looked. I began to see that I was more than just a Mother and Wife, I was an artist. So, did taking self-portraits change me, my answer would be yes. I gave myself permission to evolve and to love the time I took to get to know who I was.

35mm f/4.5 1/160 ISO 1250

Even though this is my story, self-portraits don’t have to be spiritual or have deep meaning. You can find your own personal reasons behind doing them. Maybe you just want to remember what it felt like to hold your children or enjoy a day at the beach. Everyone’s story is different, that’s why I believe Self-Portraits are so important, they’re your story and you’re the narrator. I feel so passionate about why we should be taking them, but the underlining reason is, I believe that self-love is the origin of all love. Setting aside time to reflect on you, in my opinion, is healthy and should be done regardless of taking an image.

“Time spent in self-reflection is never wasted – it is an intimate date with yourself”

– Paul TP Wong

35mm f/2.8 1/400 ISO 250

“Self-portraits are a way of revealing something about oneself”

– Eric Kandel

Finding your creative voice

“Where did get that idea from?"

I get asked this question all the time and it’s actually quite hard to give a clear answer. When I first started creating self-portraits, I had no intention of intertwining my two passions, photography and fine art. I just knew that my desire to find my voice was a driving force behind getting in the frame. After a while I felt the need to step further outside the box and start creating artful and soulful pieces. I took the time to write down 5 things that I felt defined me as a person. This helped me to find my voice and my why. These 5 things were Art, Photography, Eccentricity, Emotional Intelligence, and Passion. They are a driving force behind my images, and where I draw inspiration from.

Other things that inspire me are colors, movement, music and the unknown. I have a slight obsession with trying to make impossible things possible in my images and I’m drawn to other artists who create this way. If I look an image and say, “WHOA, how did they do that?”, I tend to be drawn to them! Were all inspired by different aspects of life; we all have different journeys. If you’re looking to find inspiration and your why, I would highly suggest taking some time to look inside yourself and write down what defines you, this will give you clear direction!

35mm f/4.5 1/250 ISO 2500

Embrace the Break, it’s part of the creating process!

Sometimes thinking so deeply about an idea can be overwhelming and draining. I tend to give myself little breaks in between my self-portraits to recharge. It’s okay to draw blanks and feel blah about your work, we all go through this as artists. When this feeling emerges, I will engage different parts of my mind with reading, bingeing my favorite movies, admiring others' latest works and even by doing absolutely nothing. Taking a step back from creating is actually an important part of creating, time gives way to new ideas, embrace the BLAH feeling and breathe in it. It’s my belief that this response is your brain telling and urging you to step further outside the box and veer off the path of least resistance.

Feeling the need to stay current can block you from creating, don’t be so hard on yourself. Just take a deep breath and refocus on why you're creating in the first place. Once I’ve allowed myself a creative break, ideas will start flooding in, they usually come as I drift off to sleep. I keep a journal on my bedside table and jot them down to revisit them in the morning or when I’m drawing a blank on what to create. When creating images, I try not to think about what others are creating or have created. Staying true to myself and my why is so important. Sometimes I see another artist with the same idea, it happens more than you think. If you’ve read “Big Magic” by Elizabeth Gilbert, you know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s okay, don’t let that discourage you, we all create for different reasons, yours will be unique for you. I believe keeping your vision close to your heart by drawing inspiration from your life, surroundings, and emotions will keep your work authentic.

35mm f/3.5 1/250 ISO 1600

Thought Process for Creative Self-Portraits

My journey into self-portraiture began with simple portraits but soon evolved into creative unique pieces. When I first started, I had no idea what I was doing, a lot of it was trial and error. I’ve had sessions where I’ve completely trashed the images and some where I got it the first try. I’m a bit of an over thinker and tiny bit of a perfectionist, so when the image falls short or the idea I’m trying to convey isn’t speaking to me, I will reshoot it. I know this might sound crazy, but as an artist I’m trying to create a piece of work, something unique and powerful, I want it to be perfect. I have learned that the more thought and time I put into the session, the less I have to worry about it not being successful.

Before I even get my camera out, I have thought about everything that it will take to get that image. I tend to visualize my session before I even get started, I really want to know exactly what I want to capture. This is the most important process for me.

I always start with:

Idea / Concept -- This is Key: Building off this one idea with the other elements creates a dynamic image.

Location -- What Location is going to help your image feel powerful and purposeful?

Settings --What Starting Settings will I set my camera, Slow Shutter, Depth of Field etc.?

Light -- Where will my light be and how will I use it to help tell my story?

Emotion -- What emotion I’m visually portraying?

Movement –- How do I want my body to move to help the emotion be portrayed?

Outfit – Choosing the outfit will help tell your story. Bold or simple can help bring focus to the subject.

Props –- What item will help give your story more meaning or help bring focus to the emotion in your image?

Once I have answered these questions and have a plan, I can start to experiment within these starting points and see what naturally flows in the session. It’s important to note that while sometimes having a clear direction is helpful, I have learned to embrace the imperfection, being open to the creativity and see what evolves has given way to some of my favorite pieces.

85mm f/3.5 1/250 ISO 1600

Gear

“Your most important gear is your eye, heart and soul”.

– Marus Vieth

Contrary to what most people think, you don’t need to have a load of gear to take beautiful images and self-portraits. When I first started photography, I thought that having all this fancy gear would create impactful images and I was wrong. Learning to use my camera and how to use light was a turning point in my work.

Camera: Nikon D750

50mm 1.4 NIKKOR

35mm 1.8 NIKKOR

85mm 1.8 NIKKOR

I keep my 35mm on my camera most of the time to capture more of the scene, but if I’m going for just a portrait, I use my 85mm (the depth of field is so dreamy)!

Tripod

I use my tripod for almost all my self-portraits; Especially when you're experimenting with slow shutter speeds. I suggest doing a lot of research before you buy one. I know they can be expensive, but the more functions a tripod has the better, in my opinion. I have a Ranger 57” Panorama with a ball head. Sometimes I will use the floor depending on the angle I’m going for but most of the time I use my tripod, which can get pretty low to the ground because of the adjustable legs and ball head!

Lighting

I typically use natural light. I love how skin naturally glows in the right lighting, but I have used a creative lighting, such as a flashlight in a darkroom covered with fabric. I’m starting to dapple in off-camera flash, but I don’t know if I would love to use it for self-portraits, keeping it simple works me and I love how raw and emotive the image looks in natural light, this is the look that I most covet in my work.

Remote

I use an Intervalometer self-timer that I attach to my camera. I can set up how many images I wish to take and set up the intervals I wish to take them. My settings are usually 30 images every 4 seconds. This device gives me the opportunity to be hands and worry free. On my D750 I have an option to save my user settings, so anytime I want to take Self-Portraits I switch the dial to U1 and my camera is ready to go. I have the camera to auto focus so I don’t need to worry about selecting a focus point, the camera will focus on me as I move. All I need to do is set up my focal length, shutter speed and ISO (making sure your image is exposed correctly is very essential for skin tones).

There are several apps and remotes you can use for your camera; you just have to find which one works for you. I know many cameras that have an intervalometer built into it, I would suggest playing around with yours and see what it’s capable of!

I took Leanna Azzolini Self-Portrait: The Complete Journey class and this device was her recommendation. Let me tell you, she knows her stuff because it definitely changed the way I take my images!

If you're interested in buying this remote, I purchased my remote from amazon. They have different ones for cannon and Nikon, make sure you check the description. (Buy here.)

Backdrop

Sometimes I use one if I want to isolate the subject in the image and it helps with editing in my opinion. I bought a cheap one with an extra large backdrop, so I don’t have to worry about editing out the foreground. Most of the time I set it up in my garage, I get the best light in the morning and later afternoon.

Music

Music is such an important part in my process, I draw so much energy and emotion from music, I have it playing for every Self-Portrait I take. I choose music that makes me feel, depending on what emotion I’m trying to evoke. I even edit my images with the same music I captured it with, I feel like it helps me focus on the emotion of session. Music helps me let go in the moment and be present in the emotion.

Apps

I use Several Sun Apps and to help me plan my sessions outside, you want to make sure where the sun will be and what times it will sets and rises. Sun Surveyor, TPE and Dark Sky are the ones I use.

Props

When choosing props, I always make sure they're essential for my story that I’m trying to convey. I have used matches, bubbles, umbrellas, leaves, flowers, water, food, painting supplies and furniture. I love to use fabric to represent movement, height and emotion. In the BTS video (linked below) I used a simple painter liner. I often use windows for creative lighting, positioning the curtains to direct light in different ways is a great way to isolate light and sometimes I will use a fog machine to highlight those beams coming through (This actually really fun and has a bit of a learning curve, but make sure you take breaks for your lungs)!

Examples of simplistic props

85mm f/4.5 1/250 ISO 1250

35mm f/2.8 1/400 ISO 250

35mm f/4.5 1/250 ISO 640

50mm f/2.8 1/320 ISO 800

35mm f/5 1/250 ISO 1000

35mm f/3.5 1/160 ISO 1250

Locations

Indoors + Low Light

Capturing self-portraits indoors is typically my go-to location, you can have the privacy and it definitely helps with creating authentic emotions. If you feel safe to create without judgement, you will capture a raw image. The hardest part of using your home is lighting, it all depends on the time of day and which direction your house faces. I suggest taking the time to learn how the light peaks through your house. What time of day does each room have the best lighting? How does the light fall in the room, does it reflect on the floors or walls? Sit in that room and imagine yourself feeling that warmth in that image. The sun always rises in the east and sets in the west, finding out how your home lets in light is very important. For me the back part of my house has the morning light and the front of my house has the evening light. I utilize those times for my sessions. Also keep in mind that the light will change in Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall. Just keep this in mind when brainstorming so you’re not frustrated about the lighting.

Environmental

Using the elements from nature is one of my favorite things to do in self-portraits. I’m lucky to live in a place where I have a beach, city and nature parks to photograph that I use to convey my stories. Depending on what I’m hoping to capture I will pick my locations. I always scout them before my sessions. I try to go around the same time I want to capture the image so I can see how active it is and where the light loves to leak in, sometimes I have people around and sometimes I’m completely alone. For me once I hit that timer it doesn’t matter who’s around, I immediately start creating! This, of course, didn’t happen overnight, it took time and basically not caring about what other’s thought. I often get a few people who choose to watch me, it doesn’t bother me really. Remember most of the time they’re admiring your courage! I love to head out early in the mornings on the weekends (if my partner is home) and take my gear, a dress and find that sunrise! It’s such a beautiful thing to witness and the best part, most people aren’t up that early! Most of the time I’m by myself when I venture out, it can be kind of daunting when you first get started, I always make sure I have my phone and I always let someone know where I will be. If I feel unsure about a location, I will wait to use that location until someone can join me. Sometimes I make it a family event! My kids think it’s hilarious that I jump and toss myself in front of the camera!

Examples of Indoor Sessions

This image was taken in my bathroom mid day, where the sun was high. I wanted adequate lighting to bring out the detail in the blur that I created using a clear sheet of plexiglass and Vaseline spread along the surface. I wanted my image to represent beauty in disorder and the imperfect. This is how I choose to use most of my props in my self-portraits, I love to use them to help tell my story and relay a message. I wanted a visual representation of my message of Self-Love, to love even the imperfect.

I set the camera directly in front of me with the light coming on the left side, holding the plexiglass in both hands I moved it in front of my face in several locations to create the illusion of distortion.

SOOC: 35mm f2.8 1/250 ISO 800

This image was captured in my dining room, with one large window as my light source, I had my black backdrop set up, a fog machine to my right and my camera set close to the ground. At the time I created this image I was dealing with a lot of self-doubt and anxiety. I was looking for a way to visually express how I was feeling on the inside in hopes of releasing some of those emotions. I used smoke from incense sticks and composited them together in Photoshop.

Tip: If you want dramatic movement in your dress, try flipping it before the shutter closes.

SOOC: 35mm f2.0 1/200 ISO 1600

Examples of Environmental Sessions

This image was such a huge confidence booster for me as an artist and women. I ventured out in the early mornings, solo, to our favorite spot on the beach to watch and capture the sun breaking in the horizon. I can vividly remember feeling terrified of the unknown, but also feeling incredibly empowered. I wanted to tell my story of liberation, leaving behind the old afflictions and starting new. While this image is not totally conceptual it is personally symbolic.

Tip: Shooting a couple stops down on exposure will help you capture more detail in your skies. Don’t be afraid to take a slightly darker image, especially if you shoot in raw.

SOOC: 35mm f3.5 1/250 ISO 1250

I visualized this image in my mind for many months before finally being able to capture it. There were so many key elements that needed to line up in order for the image to materialize. I knew I needed a piece of plastic large enough to fit into, wind that would give life to the bag and a scene that would be dramatic enough to help bring emotion to the image. I really wanted to capture the texture and the movement in the plastic and this windy day really help give life to the simple plastic liner! From the beginning I knew that this image would be a composite so I was mentally prepared for the work it was going to take to achieve this look. I wanted to make sure the plastic bag was the subject of this image, in order to do that, I was going to need to take separate images of the bag alone and layer them within Photoshop.

I was thrilled to be able to capture Behind the Scenes footage of this SP session. In this video I will explain my camera settings, tripod set up and the items I used. You can watch me capture several of the images I used to composite this final image.

Watch the Behind the Scenes HERE!

Get your Shoot On

The way I approach self-portraits is pretty much the same as a regular session (I believe thinking this way is helpful when you're first starting out).

1. I set the scene for optimal editing (remove items you don’t want in the image, set up background if using one, and have your items that are going to be in the frame with you).

2. Test the lighting for correct exposure (I tend to shoot a couple stops below); take a couple test shots

3. When choosing your settings take into consideration what you will be doing in the image and how close you are to the camera. The closer you are, the smaller your focal plane will be; a great starting point is f5.0. If your trying to capture movement and freeze it, set your shutter speed to anything over 1/250, sometimes I will go further and set it to 1/500 depending on what I’m trying to freeze. If your goal is to slow down the movement and create blur, I suggest anything under 1/30. You will have to compensate in other areas of your settings, such as F-Stops or ISO, because your image will likely be overexposed. If your image is still too bright, you can always play with exposure compensate option.

4. Set that remote up/self-timer

5. Don’t forget to select your focus!!! If you're using an app, you can select yourself with your phone, if you ended up using a remote, I suggest using an object that you can focus on and throw it out of the frame. Before my intervalometer I used a cheap tripod that I didn’t mine throwing around! If you're using the intervalometer, you can set your camera to Auto Focus (which is what I do).

6. Let go!! This is a big one, let loose and just relax. This is where music really helps, it can definitely help you stay in the moment.

7. After my 30 images, I will assess the images and see if I got what I want, I usually keep shooting until I’m completely done. Sometimes If I’m not happy with the composition or the light (it’s ever changing if you're using natural light), you will have to adjust it. Just re-set your camera and head back into it. Use this time to really dive into your emotions, try different angles and move your camera every so often to get different images. If you’re in the moment, you will be creating authentically, so take your time!

Editing

Editing is completely a personal choice and definitely varies from image to image. I always edit my images with the same guidelines, which helps with cohesion. I suggest concentrating on specific key points you want to bring out in your work. For instance, I love for my images to feel dark, emotive, and moody. I love deep contrast, rich colors, beautiful tones, and I will specifically set my camera settings for these key points to be reflected.

I have a bit of a goal I set for myself when I capture images: to get as much of it in camera as I can. I love the pride I feel when I can accomplish an idea without having to take it into Photoshop. With that being said, I do use Photoshop quite a bit for composite work. I first take my images into Lightroom and make all my local adjustments; then I will take it into Photoshop, depending on what I’m trying to accomplish. I do a lot of levitation images and there’s just no way around taking those into Photoshop. If you’re interested in doing anything with levitation, I would suggest taking a shot of your scene with the item you use to stand/lay on before you place yourself in. This is helpful in editing the image super quick. There is a little bit of a learning curve with Photoshop and I’m definitely not an expert; my suggestion would be to play around and make mistakes. That’s how we learn, right? If I’m not sure how to do something, I YouTube it; this is actually how I learned how to use Photoshop! Phlearn is also fantastic and Aaron really goes step by step, he makes it super easy!

Watch a quick composite editing video HERE!

Conclusion

There’s no right or wrong way to get started with self-portraits. Everyone’s techniques and reasons are different. My hope is that after spending time me with today, you feel empowered and excited to jump in front of the camera and capture some. While you might never have the need or even the want to share your images, I hope that you feel the need to create them. It’s truly been such a delight to share my process with you all. I would love to see what you’ve created and to hear about your journey into Self-Portraiture, so please reach out!

Don’t forget to watch the BTS video and editing video linked above! Fair warning, I’m a complete goofball and fumble certain words!!! Public Speaking is not a strong point for me!