Self Portraits
Hello everyone my name is Zephy, I am a Click Pro, Hello Artist, community lover and I have a passion for teaching. I live in Scotland and mainly photograph my two wild children, but self portraits are my creative way of expressing who I really am. I had a passion for self portraiture before I even picked up a camera, I admire artists such as Frida Kahlo and Vivian Maier for their views on themselves and the worlds they lived in. I started out in the photography industry as a model and when I finally was given my first camera, it came quite naturally to me to get in front of the lens. Like most of us, I am a storyteller and I aim to capture my unique story within my images, the ones that only I can tell. I use self portraiture as a way of healing and processing my life, I document motherhood, daily struggles, touch on sensitive issues and challenge the unconventional. I do this for myself but also in that hopes that I can open up a conversation and keep building connections. My self portraiture journey is a deep and personal one, one that I can be terribly afraid to share with the world, but equally as proud to be sharing it. I want to talk to you more about the emotional side behind your self portraiture rather than the technical side as first and foremost this is what drives my work. I believe you can take a great self portrait that makes an impact with just a basic camera and some thought. When you really get into asking yourself why you are taking self portraits, this is when your journey can really unfold.
Telling Your Story
Why do you capture self portraits? Are they for yourself? Are they for an audience? Are you just another subject to practice on in hopes of learning new techniques for other work? Knowing the reasons why you want to take self portraiture is integral to getting deeper into your art, but it’s ok if you don’t know why just yet. Why I capture my self portraits is simply this, I want to remember who I was today, in that moment, in the chaos of my every day life and all the feelings that go with it. I consider my work to be more lifestyle and styled portraiture so I am able to select and share with the world who I believed myself to be that day. Sometimes you don’t want to share part of your life and that's ok, some things are meant to be private. You are the author of your own photographic story and through self portraiture you can select what you want to share and be as brave as you wish to be. To me a self portrait is more than just getting dressed up, fancy lighting and great equipment and it comes from the heart first. Some days I want to take a picture to pick myself up, some days I feel ugly and I just want to share why I felt that way and sometimes, I simply just want to be in the picture with my kids. Every day I question who I am or who I want to be and that’s what drives the portrait.
Your Experiences
Your experiences no matter how small can help guide your self portraiture, we all have a unique perspective on life and maybe you wish to share this part of you. However, you don’t have to share imagery that is very obvious or even things that shock your audience to have an affect, you can be as subtle as you like and leave your audience thinking which in my opinion is always a good thing.
One experience in particular that changed my perspective on self portraiture was when I decided to share a bare faced image of my acne. During my breastfeeding journey, I develop a type of cystic acne which can flare up and be quite sore. Instead of letting this control my ability to get in front of the camera or spend hours retouching, I decided to embrace my acne and get in the photographs anyway. It took me quite a while to build up the confidence to do this, and part of the reason I felt so comfortable was having great communities around me for support. From this experience I decided to share more about my journey with acne and the pressures we face as women.
Your Environment
When thinking about your self portrait, the environment is crucial for telling your story. If you want to focus on just you and your body, strip that background of any narrative or distractions. If you have an environment that is perfectly aligned with your idea, then try make the most of it. Sometimes a portrait doesn’t quite go to plan, but don’t give up on your idea right away, just try a different approach. Try a different location or a different day, try slightly different lighting, analyse the back of the camera image or put it up on the computer to see what’s going on. Don’t be afraid of pausing and reshooting if necessary, especially if you feel strongly about an idea. I regularly find my initial idea never goes to plan but I end up creating something wonderful by going through the process of trial and error.
For one of my shoots, I patiently waited a whole year to go visit these blossoms as I missed them during 2020. I went out first thing in the morning before anyone was there and to my disappointment there were some works being done with bright red barriers at the end of the path. Frustrated, I tried to shoot anyway and realised by the end of the day it was just an editing nightmare. Instead of giving in, I decided I had to go reshoot before I missed the blossoms, and I am so glad I did.
Your Vulnerabilities.
Now we don’t have to make ourselves completely vulnerable if we don’t want to, the one thing I always say is you don’t have to share any of your self portraits with anybody, they can be just for you. I refer back to Vivian Maier, who only after her death was most of her self portraiture found on rolls of film. But on the other hand, the best thing I ever did was share my vulnerable side with the world, both through my photography and through my words. Sometimes by sharing my story and feelings, others can relate and reach out.
For instance, I had a silent miscarriage not long ago and at first I didn’t want to tell anyone about it let alone take any images to document my feelings. But I had an overriding feeling that I needed to do this for myself, so I captured a few images in the following days after. I shared them because I was grieving and I didn’t share them for anyone else but me, but my vulnerability touched other people and I suddenly didn’t feel quite so alone. Being vulnerable isn’t always easy, it may come at a price especially in the moment. Knowing your boundaries is important and understanding what you are able to cope with, will show you how far you are able to push yourself.
Keeping Yourself Safe
By sharing my personal self portraits, I have had a huge amount of support within my communities. I’ve had comments and messages from lots of women who are either allies or who are going through a similar journey. There have been times where I have shared something that I am passionate about and barely got any response, I was left feeling disheartened and like I shouldn’t say things that I believe in. This is a very natural response in this digital age but shouldn’t stop anyone from sharing your art and your passions. I now share for me regardless of likes and reactions and realise that if I genuinely impacted one other person with my image and story, then that is more than I could have hoped for. However, opening yourself up puts you in a sensitive position where you may find certain responses overwhelming. Sometimes when I know I will be sharing something that could be sensitive, I tend to go away from my phone and wait. I have had bad experiences where I have been offended by comments on my post and gone on to vent my frustration. This was because I was caught up in the emotion of my post and didn’t take the time away to come back with fresh eyes. If you take a self portrait that is of a sensitive nature, ask your self whether you are ready to share it and if you have prepared yourself for unexpected outcomes.
Starting Your Journey
You may need some guidance on your current self portraiture journey or just a little nudge to get started, I hope this insight to my personal journey will help you along with your own. Remember that no matter what images you take, you don’t ever need to share them with anyone but yourself. But if you do take the leap and put yourself out there, be proud that you want to share your unique story, you never know who is going to be impacted by your work. Here’s a little task for you to get the juices flowing, so grab yourself a bit of paper and pen. Create a mind map with the word ‘SELF’ in the middle. From that, write words that make you completely unique to everyone else you know. What makes you special and what are the things that are most important to you? Once you have written them all, choose just 3 that stick out to you the most. These could be the most important, or most current or just simply because those are the words you feel most comfortable with. Use these 3 words to guide you on your next self portrait shoot and see just how unique you really are.